new moon, new me?
The way life feels better when I wake up to blue skies, birds chirping and the ability to have my windows open?! It’s an unmatched energy. Like I wake up and my happiness level is already at a 9?! Say less.
I without a doubt would move if I could. Living in the midwest (Chicago especially) isn’t for the weak. And I feel like this winter hit harder than most? The grey skies and below freezing temps for months on end hits SO much harder when you’re already not doing well mentally or have a lot of daily struggles.
When you’re single and have two kids it’s just so hard to find the joy and romanticize your life sometimes. It’s like Groundhogs Day. Working from home, and not being in a relationship, and have someone in your life that is out to get you … and you wake up to your doors frozen shut and a foot of snow … ugh it’s a BAD combination.
But, sigh, I will be in my co-parenting relationship in this city for the next 9 years.
Maybe next year I’ll have a man to cuddle and hibernate with who makes me laugh? It’s on the vision board, ladies.
Let’s focus on the fact that spring has in fact sprung in Chicago!! We are thawing and we are thriving! The other thing that I would like to think has some effect on me having more pep in my step: As of today, April 17th, there is a New Moon in Aries. Which apparently is the first new moon of the astrological year and it signifies new beginnings. If you’re into that kind of thing or not, I’m harnessing this energy and rolling with it!
Two weeks ago I decided it was time to start a few projects that I’m embarrassed to say I’ve been postponing for a year now. I literally have had these ideas sitting in my drafts and I have been too unmotivated to actually start them.
I always believe everything happens at the right time for the right reason, so I’m not trying to beat myself up too hard for it. I do feel utterly motivated now and am proud of myself for working so hard on them and for what I’ve accomplished so far!!
I’ll share more soon, promise. But for now they’re igniting a passion and purpose in me that is getting me pretty amped up.
Tonight we have our annual auction gala through the boys school. It’s a fun night to dress up and socialize with other parents, etc.
The first year I obviously went with my husband at the time.
The second year I didn’t go. I couldn’t bring myself to attend. It was one month after our divorce was finalized. I knew my ex-husband was going to be there. I literally could not imagine being in the same room with him, even though hundreds of others would be there. I couldn’t imagine even (fake) smiling.
The third year, I told myself I was going, because he wasn’t going to control my life. I went. I saw him multiple times, never saying hello and I felt so awkward, so uncomfortable. I would walk out of whatever area he was in anytime I saw and felt his presence close to me. I felt like everyone had their eyes on me, but let’s be honest, they probably didn’t.
The fourth year was different. This was the first time he brought a plus one. His girlfriend came. I felt weird. I didn’t like it. There was so much chatter amongst the other parents that he brought a plus one. I think another reason I didn’t like it was because I wouldn’t want someone to meet my ex-husband for the first time there, meet his girlfriend, and then they assume that she was my kids mom? I don’t know how to explain it, but it just rubbed me the wrong way and left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn’t acknowledge either of them that night and made sure to keep a comfortable distance from them.
That brings us to tonight. My fifth year at this school / gala night and three years since the divorced was finalized…